Ok, so no judging.  I have recently discovered the group Owl City.  It is odd, I’ve only really listened to one of their CD’s and it isn’t that they have all that impressive lyrics but the beats just keep you locked in.

So yeah, Tidal Wave.  I was actually trying to listen to the lyrics and this song stuck out to me because of some issues that I have gone through lately.

I am not going to go into a lot of detail on those issues because, well, I don’t want to.  Not in this setting at least.  Lets just say that the last year to year and a half has been an interesting one in the life of Ricky Beamer.  I have often wondered if there was a light at the end of the dark tunnel that I have been walking and running through and getting hit by the lights of passing trains.  They illuminate everything, give you hope, and then bam.  In some ways I wish these were the old steam locomotives because then there would at least be a chance for a cattle guard that would just take out my knees instead of the blunt nose of a modern diesel-electric choo-choo hitting me head on.  Yes, getting hit by all these trains has been teaching many lessons – probably more than I have picked up on.

Insecurity has become something to tolerate.  Too many issues in the hands of others.  I am not a control freak but sometimes it would be nice to have the reigns of life for a while – or at least be able to see the map instead of darkness or fogginess.

The good news is that nearly all the pegs have been pulled out from under me – at least the ones that don’t involve death.  I will not say that I have shuffled the priority list completely but changes have and are being made.  Maybe the actual daylight at the end of the tunnel, that for so long I’ve needed a telescope to see, is approaching.  With a little luck, we will see what the weekend holds.

Until next time, Ciao! Ciao!